I Will Watch EVERY 80s Movie Ever Made!: Catching Up Pt 4

I confess, I couldn't make it through this one. It's a bunch of horny teens all describing the first sexual experience that really did it for them, all while trapped in a cave due to an avalanche. This is EXACTLY what you would expect.

Interesting movie, as is the sequel. Apparently made by Roger Corman and Howard Cohen, filmed in Argentina, this is very low rent "sword and sandals" fantasy that is aimed squarely at teen boys: full frontal nudity, lots of sword fighting, wisecracking musclebound hero (an effective Rick Hill). Highly derivative of Conan the Barbarian/Destroyer. Nevertheless, it moves breezily and never overstays its welcome. It may not be smart, or important, but it really doesn't want to be - it's fantasy fluff aimed at boys. I would have loved this if I was about five years older.

The sequel is actually much better! This feels like an entirely different movie than the first, which was clearly a Conan the Barbarian clone. This is something lighter - much more comedy, many more one-liners - and smarter. It feels like it winks at the viewer throughout. There also seems to be less nudity, which is intriguing for a film made by Jim Wynorski ("breasts are the cheapest special effect"). They also recast Deathstalker, the new guy is much smaller but also more agile. If you see one, you should see the other. There is also a third one, but I haven't gotten my hands on it yet.

I started out hating this, but ended up liking it. The premise is braindead: a group of colleges compete in a river race, with prestige as the main prize. There is a girl's school, an ivy league ... and the morons from the "worst college in America," who must win or face expulsion. This movie makes little sense, and isn't even that fun in the beginning, but something odd happens about halfway through: you really start to hate those damned corrupt ivy league yuppies. This is one of those movies where you're willing to root for the heroes only because the villains are so bad. There is little else going for this one, but the premise is unique (how many other river race movies are there?) and it might be worth checking out, especially if you're interested in what happened to the genre founded by Animal House.

A Lucio Fulci horror film, this is not very good. I was disappointed at every turn. Young girl student is embarrassed into a coma, her spirit possesses a new girl and she begins to take bloody revenge against the elitist girls responsible for her condition. It's ... not great. The best part of the movie (spoiler) is the death-by-snails scene, where one girl laying in bed is killed, somehow, by being covered in snails. Maybe they were poisonous? Maybe she had a heart attack? Who knows, but it's the only time I've seen someone die from snails. Avoid this one, though.

I Will Watch EVERY 80s Movie Ever Made!