Wild Thing (1987)

Wild Thing (1987) is a strange movie. Let me just introduce it by laying out the plot: It's sometime in the late '60s and three hippies - man, wife, toddler - are heading for unknown reasons to New York City in the obligatory VW van. They pick up scuzzy hitchhiker. So far, so good. 

Upon dropping him off in NYC, all hell breaks loose as kingpin drug dealer screams at hitchhiker about missing drugs. Hippies are taken hostage, then murdered, by drug kingpin and corrupt cop. Toddler son jumps into sewer (!) and is found, then raised by a bag lady. That's just the first ten minutes. 

Boy is raised on the streets, becomes quite resourceful and ultimately is like some kind of urban Tarzan. He even screeches like a threatened animal when he's under attack. Then, one day, a woman comes to the ghetto where Urban Tarzan lives (colorfully called The Zone in the movie; looks like The Bronx) to work in a Catholic mission that helps the homeless. 

She is assaulted by criminals but saved by Urban Tarzan. Criminals get pissed, begin all-out assault on this kid, who wears nothing but a weird leather loincloth thing. Of course they are no match for the pure heart and elite parkour skills of our hero. He defeats them, with some small issues, and along the way (1) loses his virginity to the lady helping out at the mission, and (2) kills those responsible for the murder of his parents.

Even for 1987, that is pretty far out there. What all that plot doesn't tell you is that this is really either an exploitation movie or an action movie. I could never quite decide which. Ebert (who I reference all the time only because he was the most visible critic of his era) makes a big hullabaloo out of how many opportunities the movie misses. But he's all wrong - he expects this to be some kind of highbrow drama or maybe wry comedy of manners about our culture. 

No, this is a lowbrow exploitation movie about cheap life in the ghetto and how the best we can all expect as far as real life superheroes is a homeless kid who climbs really well. There are so many scenes were whores get pushed around, people pay protection money, cheap villainous lackeys leer at everybody, crooked cops make shady deals, etc. It's like right out of the mid-'70s. 

And at its heart, it's also an action movie. The movie has all the conventions of the '80s action flick - broad villain who's easy to hate along with a cast of no name lackeys who exist only to die explosive deaths, pure woman just trying to help the community, wide range of supporting cast, and hero who has physical skills and is willing to use them to erase the bad guys from the face of the earth. If our hero spoke more, he would spout some killer one-liners. 

Does anyone actually remember this movie? Almost all the movies I've watched lately and written about I either remember from the actual '80s or have heard about from someone, somewhere... but not this one. This is a real wild card, so to speak.

I guess that leads to a more general question: Are there any reader requests? If so, let me know. I will try to get my hands on the movie in question and give it a spin. I'll also post reader reviews and memories if they aren't too long. So hit me up!