Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Sorority House Massacre (1986), Cheerleader Camp (1988), Sweet Sixteen (1983)



 I'm sorry, readers. These three movies are fairly awful. Dreck. Schlock. Unworthy but for my undying interest in the entertainment-mad decade in which they were mercilessly unleashed onto the unready, unsuspecting public.

Let's start with Sweet Sixteen (1983). I actively disliked this movie. This movie is borderline racist towards Native Americans, who are persistently portrayed as murderous scum who barely deserve to live in the same town as the virtuous white characters - only the even-keeled sheriff seems inclined to, you know, actually wait and see how the evidence shakes out. The movie itself does take pains to show you the Native American characters are good people, but it does it in a half-hearted way. 

In one scene, a Native American character tries to get a young girl to leave a seedy part of town, but he does it in a rather aggressive, unpleasant way - he grabs her wrist rather forcefully - and while the audience knows he has the best intentions, it sure doesn't make him very appealing. And despite things like that, it sure doesn't help when they are accused of serial murder at every turn, even by the "good" characters. The whole ham-handed attempt at potraying the Native American characters as Noble, Stoic, But Misunderstood is very poorly written.  

That aside, the plot is almost complete nonsense, with some really crazy situations, like when a drunk teen drives home his date, only to discover her father getting home at the same time. Daddy ain't pleased. 

What does the teen jerkwad do, immediately after learning his date is FIFTEEN YEARS OLD (and he has been predatorily trying to bed her in his filthy truck for the last five or ten minutes of the film)? He proceeds to insult the father, spouting off some lines like "Hey, calm down old man, it's cool, we just had some beers and went for a drive." 

What, now?! 

This takes places in Texas, too. In a more realistic movie the remainder of the film would have been the father's murder trial for taking out that turd of a teenager. 

Alas, this is not a realistic film, or even a passable one. It's a sub-generic, derivative slasher film that voyeuristically insists we gaze at a 15-year-old's breasts at every possible chance. It's really off-putting, and this comes from someone who is usually very enthusiastic about nudity. The only saving grace is that the actress is obvious much older. But still, the film pushes her age ("My birthday is next week!") in our faces, and then undresses her over and over again. 

The "villain" is somewhat predictable, and the murders themselves completely uninspired. If I had seen this in the theater as a young child I would have fallen asleep. The movie inspires no fear, no dread, no apprehension of any kind. It's limp filler of the lowest grade, and I encourage absolutely no one to see this. 

Sorority House Massacre (1986) is a blatant knock-off of Halloween: young girl's disturbed brother breaks out of mental institution, resolved to murder his sister and complete the killing of his family as he intended to do years before. He is superhumanly strong, nearly impossible to stop, and appears to rise from the dead several times. Sound familiar? All that's missing is the white William Shatner mask - and I'm sure they would have done that if they had just a little more budget. There are also a couple dim nods toward Nightmare on Elm Street, since there are lengthy surreal dream sequences. 

This movie also uses every opportunity to show that the main characters are young, nubile co-eds. They try on clothes (in the movie's single most ridiculous scene, these girls are GIDDY about trying on every article in the closet), they take off clothes, they wear tight pajamas, they make out with boyfriends, etc. It's amusing, but far from the erotic thrill the film is hoping for. From what I understand, the sequel has all the bared skin you could wish for and more. This one uses it more for seasoning, on top of the main course of multiple gory murders. 

Sadly, the plot of Halloween being so well known by the time this came out, Sorority House Massacre also fails to provide any real thrills or suspense. You know who the killer is, you watch him methodically assault his way to the sorority house, you watch him pick off improbably vulnerable victims, you watch the killer finally get his bloody comeuppance, you see the "THE END?"-type finale. You yawn, you turn off the TV, you wonder where your life has gone, you glance at the clock, feel depressed, and fall asleep on the couch. 

Cheerleader Camp (1988) is the clear winner of the trio here, which is sort of damning with faint praise. It's also known by the title "Bloody Pom Poms," but I've only ever seen it as Cheerleader Camp. At least this movie has a real sense of humor - a group of cheerleaders go to a camp where they compete with other schools, when slowly campers start getting knocked off one by one. One of the very best things about this movie is the poster - it's incredible! The skeleton cheerleader is just a really nice touch, and quite creepy. 

My favorite character, by far, is the fat voyeur Timmy (played really well by Travis McKenna), who goofs around and films every girl he can see in the hopes of getting a set of jiggling breasts or a suntanning butt on tape. But he's also a cheerleader (!), along with his best friend Brent (Leif Garret!). 

The main plot here goes a little further than the other two movies - our main character is Alison (Betsy Russell, now famous for all the Saw films), who is plagued by nightmares in which very violent things happen. She begins to wonder if she is the killer and just blacking out during the acts. 

One by one, the ENTIRE CAMP is murdered - no one is spared - in increasingly gruesome ways. Only our heroine is left, along with the team mascot. But ... which one is the killer? I won't say here. It's not that I really want anyone to seek out this movie, but it's a cut above the usual '80s teen slashers, and has a legitimate sense of humor that is crossed with a surprisingly effective streak of paranoia that mounts as the teens begin to suspect each other. I wish Timmy had lived. 

As for the production, let's start from the top. Sweet Sixteen was directed by Jim Sotos, who made Hot Moves a year later; I once saw Hot Moves on sale for a dollar at a VHS liquidator. Sweet Sixteen was written by Erwin Goldman, in what appears to be his only writing credit of any kind (I'm not surprised). I can't find money or budget info anywhere, but it's safe to say this didn't make much money. 

Sorority House Massacre was written and directed by Carol Frank, who appears to have been a production assistant on a couple things before this, and never made anything else after it. Again, no budget or money info is available anywhere. This movie is fairly well known, and even earned a sequel made by Roger Corman (!), which is a sort of honor. I would guess this one made a profit. 

Cheerleader Camp was written by David Lee Fein (author of semi-cult classic Demonoid, and longtime foley artist with more credits than I can list here) and R. L. O'Keefe, who doesn't appear to have written anything else. It was directed by John Quinn, who went on to write, direct, and produce a lot of Cinemax-type late night TV shows. Yet again, no money info can be found, but this is another semi-well known slasher of the era, and probably at least broke even. 

I wish someone would write a book about all the many, many teen slashers of the '80s. 

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