One of the perils of trying to blog about every movie from the '80s is that I end up seeing more movies than I have time to write about. This week I'm going to try to catch up a little bit and cover a wide variety of things.
Today's offering is going to be a study in complete contrasts: Arnold Schwarzenegger's most braindead film, Raw Deal (1986) against what might be Woody Allen's most cerebral, Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989).
I should preface this by saying that like most young boys in the '80s I completely idolized Arnold Schwarzenegger (and Stallone and Ford and Willis, et al). It's easy to see why: Schwarzenegger is huge, invincible, usually the good guy, never loses, and is just a massive force to be reckoned with. He is the ultimate action hero.
But my sister made a good point the other day: why did/does Hollywood persistently ignore his blatant Austrian-ness and instead insist on labeling him some super-American stereotype? His characters always have the most generically American names imaginable:
- Adam Gibson (the 6th Day)
- Ben Richards (The Running Man)
- John Kimble (Kindergarten Cop)
- Douglas Quaid (Total Recall)
- Alex Hesse (Junior)
- Gordy Brewer (!!!, Collateral Damage)
- Harry Tasker (True Lies)
- Howard Langston (Jingle All the Way)
- Jack Slater (Last Action Hero)
- Jericho Cane (!!!, End of Days)
- John Matrix (!!!!!!!!!, Commando)
- John Kruger (Eraser)
I mean, come on! Adam, Ben, Gordy, three times John?? And John Matrix??? Man.
I'm not sure why they insisted on doing this. At least Predator acknowledged his Germanity by calling him "Dutch." It's a strange phenomena, and yet I never heard anyone comment on it until now. It's like everyone just said to themselves "anyone that big GOTTA be American" and pretended the accent was just a delightful quirk.
Raw Deal is about a former FBI agent (here named alternately Mark Kaminsky or Joe, depending on which identity he's in) who goes undercover to infiltrate the mob after the mob targets the family of the head of the FBI. The longer story is that he was kicked out of the FBI for roughing up a suspect, and has become the sheriff of a small town in North Carolina (!!!) before he's lured back to the case with the promise of reinstatement if he can infiltrate the mob and take them down. I always wonder if deals like this really happen.
I have to say, as a die-hard (haha) Schwarzenegger fan, this is my probably my least favorite of all his movies. It has all the requisite '80s-isms (pumping rock soundtrack with lead guitar everywhere and surprise sax solos ... macho gunfights ... bad one-liners ... endless bad guys who can't shoot straight but sure do die quick) but somehow just never clicks. It's kind of joyless.
Schwarzenegger apparently liked making this because he finally got to wear a "normal" wardrobe (no more Conan loincloth, Terminator leather jacket, etc) and he DOES look more normal here than in most movies - suits, hair slicked back, etc. But the movie as a whole is too slow, a little dull, and doesn't have enough "pop" in it. It satisfies, but it doesn't enchant.
The big gunfight finale in the casino is a real treat, even though it pales against Commando, Terminator, Predator, and a couple others. But apparently I'm not the only one to think so; this guy voted it #2, second only to Commando:
http://whatculture.com/film/arnold-schwarzeneggers-top-20-greatest-action-scenes.php/20
Raw Deal was directed by John Irving - no, not THAT John Irving - who also directed The Dogs of War (1980), Ghost Story (1981), Hamburger Hill (1987), the "good" Robin Hood from the '90s (1991), and a bunch of ones that sound intriguing but that I've never seen.
Like most of Arnold's '80s fare, it made money - although not as much or as wildly as other ones. According to IMDB it cost $8.5 million and grossed about twice that.
Now, the pendulum swings... Crimes and Misdemeanors comes near the last part of Woody Allen's truly great period, dating roughly from Annie Hall through Manhattan and Zelig and Broadway Danny Rose and Purple Rose of Cairo and Hannah and Her Sisters and Radio Days to this movie and then roughly until Bullets Over Broadway in '94.
Anyone who has seen Match Point (2005) has seen half of this movie - the serious half. There are several plot threads at work here, but the main one for our consideration deals with opthamologist Judah (Martin Landau) who is in crisis - his spurned mistress wants to tell his wife about their long-running affair, and Judah's financial improprieties with his business (never explicitly mentioned, but you get the idea he was using business money for personal use). Coming forward like this would destroy Judah's life - his wife has no idea, his kids have no idea, and he seems to be a respected, beloved figure both in his religious community and in New York at large.
If it sounds familiar, it's because it's almost identical to the dilemma that Jonathan Rhys-Meyers faces in Match Point, when his affair with Scarlett Johansson threatens his up-and-coming life with his wealthy wife and her family.
So the main plot centers around the question: What should Judah do? His choices are framed as two forks, one of which centers around his brother Jack (the masterful Jerry Orbach) who has ties to the mob and advocates rubbing the mistress out of the picture... and Ben (the subtle, excellent Sam Waterston), a rabbi going blind but faces it gracefully, and advocates coming clean, and trusting that a high power will make things right.
But unlike Match Point, this movie is funny, as seen in the side plot featuring Cliff (Woody Allen's character), a documentary filmmaker trapped in a loveless marriage who is given the chance to make a TV biography of his brother-in-law Lester (a very funny Alan Alda), who he hates. Lester is a blowhard with all kinds of theories including the classic "If it bends, it's funny, if it breaks, it's not funny!" which he punctuates with a comment about joking about Abraham Lincoln's assassination. "Back then, you couldn't joke about it... but now, it's fair game!!" or something to that effect. Great stuff.
But Cliff's like is complicated by an affair of his own - he is falling for Halley, the producer of the TV bio, played by Mia Farrow, who is a sensitive, delicate, funny, clever character. And then Lester turns his eye toward Halley as well...
Small trivia note: Lester is apparently based on comedy writer Larry Gelbart, who is largely responsible for the character of Hawkeye Pierce in M*A*S*H. So Alan Alda is playing the man who wrote the character that made him famous; this is like Peter Dinklage someday portraying George R. R. Martin, or Mark Hamill portraying George Lucas. Kind of surreal.
The movie is bracing, funny, beautiful, has an incredible soundtrack, and a completely devastating, shocking ending. I have always suspected this movie ends the way Allen wished Hannah and Her Sisters ended - he always has claimed to regret the happy, upbeat ending of Hannah. This movie has a much more grounded, realistic ending. No spoilers, you have to see it.
Sadly, this movie actually seems to have lost a little money - IMDB says it cost $19 million to make and brought back just shy of that. I hope it's entered the black after all these years on video, etc. It deserves it.
As a teaching assistant for the only dedicated film professor at the University of Maryland in the 2000s, I must have seen Crimes and Misdemeanors about 25 times, maybe more. But I never tire of it. It comes together perfectly, and has a fantastic mix of elements that keeps it fresh after all these years. Among the very best of Woody Allen from his best period, and highly recommended.
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